Lorelai goes on a date! Rory doesn’t, but the Chilton crowd comes to Stars Hollow as Paris takes a turn as director for their English class Romeo and Juliet scene. Tristan is charming as ever. Paris continues to rule my heart with an iron fist. And Sookie continues to dispense all the wisdom, despite breaking the broiler.
Butterscotch: That’s awkward
Moxie: Like Lorelai will notice the broiler is broken.
Butterscotch: Does this mean it’s going to be a Max episode?
Or is this just a Max-catalyst?
Moxie: No, it’s a wedding present episode.
Butterscotch: That’s fine then. So both the headmaster AND the ice cream maker are Il Duce?
Moxie: There’s an Il Duce club.
Butterscotch: The club has two members: A principal. And kitchen gadgetry.
Moxie: I bet Emily’s also in it.
Butterscotch: That is exceptionally silly. It’s not a puppy, Sookie!
Moxie: It’s Sookie, that thing is on child level. Forget puppies
Butterscotch: Then she should get one of her own! Clearly.
Moxie: It probably costs as much as her car.
Butterscotch: I bet it’s from Emily. And that she sent it late in a snit about something worth snitting about.
Moxie: Lorelai should give up and give it to her.
Butterscotch: Ooh! I like student-performing Shakes!
Moxie: Shocking that a playwright would intend for his plays to be performed.
Butterscotch: That’s how I got into his history plays. Freshman Shakespeare teacher shouting ‘I need a bastard and a boy for this scene!’
Butterscotch: Hey, there are playwrights who didn’t want their plays performed
Moxie: Fifty percent of the final grade seems harsh.
Butterscotch: They were called closet dramas. Ooh. Sock hops and clambakes
Moxie: Paris, you hate her, how would she know she’s supposed to be standing over there?
Butterscotch: Paris is all kinds of up on pop culture. Tristan paid mechanics to do it. Typical rich boy prank?
Moxie: Tristan is very foreshadowy of her college boyfriend.
Butterscotch: ew. There are crickets chirping. And they’re drinking coffee…. Very scary, Lorelai
Moxie: I think they have a caffeine immunity
Butterscotch: Paris has appointed herself as dictator. Um. Director. Paris is Il Duce #3?
Moxie: She’s in teh Il Duce club.
Moxie: That was mean, Rory.
Butterscotch: It’s all Luke’s money
Moxie: It is.
Butterscotch: I’m with Mrs. Kim there.
Moxie: Same. Do your homework, Lane.
Butterscotch: Randolph and Bunny??
Moxie: They are rich. Have to have rich names.
Butterscotch: Creepy. Cute 20 something blondie Mc Blonderton
Moxie: Every week? Slacker
Butterscotch: Dinner? Eating?
Moxie: He is not old enough to know about automats.
Butterscotch: Do they still have automats? Is that a thing?
Moxie: Not in forever.
Butterscotch: I vaguely remember one at the military hospital when I was about 3 or 4 and my dad had meningitis
Moxie: Ooh Jane!
Butterscotch: death scene? there’s no sword in the death scene.
Moxie: Then she did just have the sword lying around.
Butterscotch: Clearly. The death scene has a dagger. Dammit, this is R&J. Don’t screw up the Shakes!
Moxie: This is going to go so well.
Butterscotch: You look great dead
Moxie: Make Brad Juliet!
Butterscotch: adorable. I would watch that
Moxie: Oh Michel and his dietary restrictions.
Butterscotch: I’ll take the blueberries
Moxie: Ha! Michel didn’t want to destroy Destiny’s Child.
Butterscotch: In the reunion episode Michel is gluten free
Moxie: And Paleo. Just let Sookie take him home!
Butterscotch: We’re all concerned about Lorelai. We’ve been concerned about Lorelai from Ep 1. That’s why we keep watching
Butterscotch: Oh. I see. Sookie interferes…now Lorelai will have an awkward date with the blonde lazy slacker dude
Moxie: You’ve seen tv before!
Butterscotch: I HAVE! Me is smrt
Moxie: Sookie is not forgetting the burrito
Butterscotch: Sookie knows how to work a bit
Moxie: So close!
Butterscotch: Mrs. Kim is right again
Moxie: I’m with Mrs. Kim on that
Butterscotch: jinx again!
Moxie: Obviously we are on the same page.
Butterscotch: You owe me two cokes!
Butterscotch: And I’d collect if I still drank soda
Moxie: There is no interpretation!
Butterscotch: Of course there’s a Miss Patty.net
Moxie: I wish that was a real site we could go to.
Butterscotch: That purse DOES look like Stalin’s head, or his hat, mostly
Moxie: What’s with the fascists?
Butterscotch: Their heads are cold, as is their ice cream
Moxie: Oh oh oh the ice cream maker should have been Il Dolce!
Butterscotch: I like the Dean voice. I loled
Butterscotch: She Trissed Kristin!
Moxie: Oh this is going well.
Butterscotch: Lorelai has very good points here
Moxie: She does. Hee!
Butterscotch: Yes, your hair is cool now Dean. Now that you wash it.
Butterscotch: I ❤ Miss Patty. You do NOT sass Miss Patty, Paris
Moxie: Haha the Big City. Fight fight! Kiss him!
Butterscotch: Yeeeah. I really want to strangle Tristan. Dean has a point.
Moxie: Say howdy to the Charbroiled chicken!
Butterscotch: It’s like evil forces are manipulating this narrative or something
Moxie: Definitely evil
Butterscotch: Dean is displaying maturity in his walk around the block. I can respect that
Moxie: He’s slowly learning. Slowly.
Butterscotch: It’s nice to see that his character evolves a bit, considering how little we see him these days
Moxie: Well and they have to make him look even better in comparison to Jess.
Butterscotch: I am kind of loving Lorelai’s oversharing about her date with her daughter
Moxie: Not all all
Butterscotch: Nom. Fried chicken!
Butterscotch: That got Luke’s attention
Moxie: Dagger! Dagger into his heart!
Butterscotch: Dean doesn’t trust Tristan… and I’m not entirely sure he trusts Rory. Because Dean is super suspicious
Moxie: Oh god let her have her thing.
Butterscotch: She clearly doesn’t want you there Pushy McPushypants
Moxie: If we say he’s fine enough times it’ll be true.
Butterscotch: “I’m intrigued” he says, as he turns toward his locker. Oh, Rory. That was dumb. So dumb. You’re supposed to be the smart one.
Moxie: Stop walking into this.
Butterscotch: Ouch. She tells the guy who likes to torpedo things
Moxie: Oh yeah that’s going to make him want to help. Don’t try to fix him.
Butterscotch: Tristan is the soulful, misunderstood rich boy
Moxie: They do that better with the next soulful rich boy
Butterscotch: He brought his parents…
Moxie: South Park shirt
Butterscotch: …this is not good… Luke is now a tourist attraction
Moxie: There is going to be shouting soon.
Butterscotch: Spit in his coffee Luke. Can’t wait to see Paul with Mrs. Kim
Moxie: She will chew him up and spit him out.
Butterscotch: I’d love to watch that. Oh, Luke. I love you. Even Mr. Bitterscotch tittered at that one.
Moxie: He is the best. Oh he remembers. Did somebody frisk Paris for the sword?
Butterscotch: that poor kid that we will never see again
Moxie: Oh we do, though!
Butterscotch: Saw that coming. Punch Tristan, Rory. that is the correct response
Moxie: Somebody’s going to be dead. This is homework, Dean.
Butterscotch: It is homework, Dean. But I still want Rory to punch Dean. I have a violent streak
Moxie: I want her to punch Tristan.
Butterscotch: I wish he had taken the sparkle vest accidentally. That would’ve capped the evening
Moxie: I want Paris to be Romeo. Come do your fatherly duty and watch the lousy play, Luke!
Butterscotch: I don’t. Paris/Rory is not something I want to see
Moxie: I saw a good argument for it. But after the end of the series
Butterscotch: I think their relationship is not at a stage where I can, in any universe, justify slash right now. Way to slut shame, Luke. Good job. You lose ten points
Moxie: No banter, he’s honestly upset. Oh my god.
Butterscotch: DUDE. Neanderthal R&J is awesome
Moxie: I want that production. Paris power walks.
Butterscotch: Business men stabbing each other with their cards. Tristan is full of the dumb
Moxie: Overflowing with the dumb.
Butterscotch: Tristan in military school. Awesome. But at least we’ll be rid of Tristan and his full of dumb
Moxie: Professor Furious went to school with those boys.
Butterscotch: The thing that makes me sad is that this is the most character dev we’ve seen out of him to date. the ones full of dumb? Paris is Romeo. Awesome
Moxie: The rich boy jerks.
Butterscotch: You get your slash wish
Moxie: I had honestly forgotten.
Butterscotch: And, frankly, she’s better than Tristan
Moxie: Right into the boobs
Butterscotch: Except there was no kiss, only tits
Moxie: Hmm an English event at Chilton. Who might be here?
Butterscotch: Oh lordy, you have a point.
Moxie: Listen to Sookie!
Butterscotch: So it IS a Max episode, or no
Moxie: When will Lorelai learn her lesson and just listen to Sookie.
Butterscotch: Can Lorelai and Sookie date?
Moxie: Damn my memory is faulty. Why WASN’T Max there. Sookie is meant for Jackson and Jackson alone.
Butterscotch: Because Max teaches the Freshmen?
Everyone dies but the outfits were cute…
Moxie: Says the woman who made the outfits
Butterscotch: point. So we finally got some Tristan character development. He has an inner spongy center, and YANK! Out of show for you, my friend
Moxie: And is now gone forever.
Butterscotch: ne’er to be seen again indeed
Moxie: But we get another prank pulling, adorable, blond, rich boy in college. Honestly it may as well be getting Tristan back.
Butterscotch: Ugh. But I’ve seen the pictures of Logan
Moxie: but then he develops!
Butterscotch: and he’s at least cute. Tristan is mostly just…squinty. He always looks like he’s three quarters baked
Moxie: The hair is too tousled
Butterscotch: that’s not tousled
Moxie: Like it’s not for show bedhead, it’s actual bedhead.
Butterscotch: that’s like the non-permed version of Timberlake ramen hair
Moxie: It does look a little fried…
Butterscotch: which, given the era…
Moxie: Damn Jess is the only one with good hair until Logan.
Butterscotch: Remember, this was when the Tigi “Bed Head” products were all the rage
Moxie: Oh yes
Butterscotch: I saw that Dean has lapsed back into the non-washy hair phase
Moxie: As his jealousy grows, his shampoo wanes.
Moxie: He has to be able to better rub his scent on Rory to mark his territory
Butterscotch: A note to Dean: The grunge look only works if you actively listen to Nirvana and wear a plaid shirt tied ’round your waist
Moxie: Ah those were the days….
Butterscotch: okay, you’re actively making gorge rise. gross
Moxie: Okay I’ll stop.
I think I’m going to be sore about the R&J thing for the rest of the night, because I kind of hate that play, for all I love the Shakes
Moxie: Hee which part of it? It’s like a good song that gets too much airtime onthe radio.
Butterscotch: no. I just wish they’d chosen a different play, you k now? Freshman english teacher ruined it for me. It and To Kill a Mockingbird
Moxie: They needed something everyone would know with a well known kiss.
Butterscotch: Much Ado has a sexy kiss. 12th night has a sexy kiss. Midsummer has people high on drugs orgying in the mud in the damn woods <–is snob
Moxie: But I don’t think any of them are as pop culture-y as R&J
Butterscotch: R&J is only pop culturey because no one can be bothered to expand their knowledge beyond it. Also, I am ranty McRanterton
Moxie: It’s okay. You love Shakespeare enough for the both of us. Which is good.
Butterscotch: I do, but mostly just the histories and the comedies
Moxie: Because frankly, just once, I’d love to hear about somebody else.
Butterscotch: not so much the tragedies. Yes!
Moxie: Anyyyyway. So jealous!Dean has reared his ugly unwashed head.
Butterscotch: yes. I think unwashed hair is the mark of the decline of a relationship
Moxie: We have solid groundwork for him not trusting Rory, and Jess, the bad boy with a heart of gold and a reading level to match Rory’s, is in town.
Butterscotch: clearly, because Rory is 17 and fickle of heart and because it’s high school and every girl should date around a bit
Moxie: Which at 17, I think is totally fine.
Butterscotch: also, I guess Lane is dating Henry officially now?
Moxie: Ish? I guess.
Butterscotch: with Rory as an intermediary?
Moxie: Ghost dating?
Butterscotch: She is the dating middleman
Moxie: So, you know, this will end well.
Moxie: I’m just happy to see Lane.
Butterscotch: me too. But I want Lane to have more screentime
and Dean to have a bit less
And Luke to have more
Moxie: The Luke and Lane show!
Butterscotch: that’d be…awkward
Moxie: I guess.
Butterscotch: ok, that was a fun episode
Moxie: I got Paris time, which always makes me happy.
Butterscotch: you and Paris. something something Paris in the spring?
Moxie: Dictator of my heart!
Butterscotch: Dictator of the stage
Moxie: I know the ice cream machine was this episode, but it doesn’t feel like it.
Sorry, my brain went Il Duce and then Il Dolce…
Butterscotch: Il Duce, the cold one
Moxie: This was a long episode! It spanned quite a chunk of time.
Butterscotch: true, it did
Moxie: I hope Sookie took it home.
Butterscotch: so she and Jackson could make sweet sweet…ice cream
Moxie: So many tasty foods must come out of that house.
Butterscotch: Best part of that episode? My husband being forced to watch it with me
Butterscotch: and hearing him laugh at it. genuine laughter, instead of scoff.
Moxie: It’s an honestly funny show!
Butterscotch: that was amusing
he will, of course, deny this tomorrow
and blame it on the back pain making him punchy or something
Moxie: uhhuh. Sure.
So here something interesting: there was no followup from Dean on the kiss thing that Tristan mentioned. He totally brushed it off. So suspicious Dean is jealous, but not too bright
Moxie: That was weird. [We were too busy cackling to notice Tirstan followed it up with saying it reminded him of Juliet and Romeo’s kiss. Hence the Dean not killing him. Tristan is just as jackassy as we think, but slightly more clever than we give him credit for. -M]
Butterscotch: (not that he has the right to recrimination)
Moxie: He probably imagines that Tristan forced himself on Rory.
Butterscotch: well, Tristan did mention the tears
Moxie: Although, if that’s the case I’m not sure why we weren’t looking at straight up attempted murder.
Butterscotch: Yes. A bit of a plot hole, that, unless he doesn’t believe they kissed
Moxie: Also possible.
Butterscotch: and just thinks that this is about Tristan and him, not Tristan and Rory. It seems very Deanlike to internalize this and make it his story
Moxie: That’s true. I bet in his mind this is the Dean Show
Butterscotch: Well, not in Padelecki’s mind. But in Dean’s, yes