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Lorelai goes on a date! Rory doesn’t, but the Chilton crowd comes to Stars Hollow as Paris takes a turn as director for their English class Romeo and Juliet scene. Tristan is charming as ever. Paris continues to rule my heart with an iron fist. And Sookie continues to dispense all the wisdom, despite breaking the broiler.

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Butterscotch: That’s awkward

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Moxie: Like Lorelai will notice the broiler is broken.

Butterscotch: Does this mean it’s going to be a Max episode?

Or is this just a Max-catalyst?

A Maxalyst

Moxie: No, it’s a wedding present episode.

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Butterscotch: That’s fine then. So both the headmaster AND the ice cream maker are Il Duce?

Moxie: There’s an Il Duce club.

Butterscotch: The club has two members: A principal. And kitchen gadgetry.

Moxie: I bet Emily’s also in it.

Butterscotch: That is exceptionally silly. It’s not a puppy, Sookie!

Moxie: It’s Sookie, that thing is on child level. Forget puppies

Butterscotch: Then she should get one of her own! Clearly.

Moxie: It probably costs as much as her car.

Butterscotch: I bet it’s from Emily. And that she sent it late in a snit about something worth snitting about.

Moxie: Lorelai should give up and give it to her.

Butterscotch: Ooh! I like student-performing Shakes!

Moxie: Shocking that a playwright would intend for his plays to be performed.

Butterscotch: That’s how I got into his history plays. Freshman Shakespeare teacher shouting ‘I need a bastard and a boy for this scene!’

Moxie: Heh

Butterscotch: Hey, there are playwrights who didn’t want their plays performed

Moxie: Fifty percent of the final grade seems harsh.

Butterscotch: They were called closet dramas. Ooh. Sock hops and clambakes

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Moxie: Paris, you hate her, how would she know she’s supposed to be standing over there?

Butterscotch: Paris is all kinds of up on pop culture. Tristan paid mechanics to do it. Typical rich boy prank?

Moxie: Tristan is very foreshadowy of her college boyfriend.

Butterscotch: ew. There are crickets chirping. And they’re drinking coffee…. Very scary, Lorelai

Moxie: I think they have a caffeine immunity

Butterscotch: Paris has appointed herself as dictator. Um. Director. Paris is Il Duce #3?

Moxie: She’s in teh Il Duce club.

Butterscotch: jinx!

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Moxie: That was mean, Rory.

Butterscotch: It’s all Luke’s money

Moxie: It is.

Butterscotch: I’m with Mrs. Kim there.

Moxie: Same. Do your homework, Lane.

Butterscotch: Randolph and Bunny??

Moxie: They are rich. Have to have rich names.

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Butterscotch: Creepy. Cute 20 something blondie Mc Blonderton

Moxie: Every week? Slacker

Butterscotch: Dinner? Eating?

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Moxie: He is not old enough to know about automats.

Butterscotch: Do they still have automats? Is that a thing?

Moxie: Not in forever.

Butterscotch: I vaguely remember one at the military hospital when I was about 3 or 4 and my dad had meningitis

Moxie: Ooh Jane!

Butterscotch: death scene? there’s no sword in the death scene.

Moxie: Then she did just have the sword lying around.

Butterscotch: Clearly. The death scene has a dagger. Dammit, this is R&J. Don’t screw up the Shakes!

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Moxie: This is going to go so well.

Butterscotch: You look great dead

Moxie: Make Brad Juliet!

Butterscotch: adorable. I would watch that

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Moxie: Oh Michel and his dietary restrictions.

Butterscotch: I’ll take the blueberries

Moxie: Ha! Michel didn’t want to destroy Destiny’s Child.

Butterscotch: In the reunion episode Michel is gluten free

Moxie: And Paleo. Just let Sookie take him home!

Butterscotch: We’re all concerned about Lorelai. We’ve been concerned about Lorelai from Ep 1. That’s why we keep watching

Moxie: True.

Butterscotch: Oh. I see. Sookie interferes…now Lorelai will have an awkward date with the blonde lazy slacker dude

Moxie: You’ve seen tv before!

Butterscotch: I HAVE! Me is smrt

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Moxie: Sookie is not forgetting the burrito

Butterscotch: Sookie knows how to work a bit

Moxie: So close!

Butterscotch: Mrs. Kim is right again

Moxie: I’m with Mrs. Kim on that

Butterscotch: jinx again!

Moxie: Obviously we are on the same page.

Butterscotch: You owe me two cokes!

Moxie: dammit

Butterscotch: And I’d collect if I still drank soda

Moxie: There is no interpretation!

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Butterscotch: Of course there’s a Miss Patty.net

Moxie: I wish that was a real site we could go to.

Butterscotch: That purse DOES look like Stalin’s head, or his hat, mostly

Moxie: What’s with the fascists?

Butterscotch: Their heads are cold, as is their ice cream

Moxie: Oh oh oh the ice cream maker should have been Il Dolce!

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Butterscotch: I like the Dean voice. I loled

Moxie: Same.

Butterscotch: She Trissed Kristin!

Moxie: Oh this is going well.

Butterscotch: Lorelai has very good points here

Moxie: She does. Hee!

Butterscotch: Yes, your hair is cool now Dean. Now that you wash it.

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Butterscotch: I ❤ Miss Patty. You do NOT sass Miss Patty, Paris

Moxie: Haha the Big City. Fight fight! Kiss him!

Butterscotch: Yeeeah. I really want to strangle Tristan. Dean has a point.

Moxie: Say howdy to the Charbroiled chicken!

Butterscotch: It’s like evil forces are manipulating this narrative or something

Moxie: Definitely evil

Butterscotch: Dean is displaying maturity in his walk around the block. I can respect that

Moxie: He’s slowly learning. Slowly.

Butterscotch: It’s nice to see that his character evolves a bit, considering how little we see him these days

Moxie: Well and they have to make him look even better in comparison to Jess.

Butterscotch: I am kind of loving Lorelai’s oversharing about her date with her daughter

it’s adorable

Moxie: Not all all

Butterscotch: Nom. Fried chicken!

Moxie: No

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Butterscotch: That got Luke’s attention

Moxie: Dagger! Dagger into his heart!

Butterscotch: Dean doesn’t trust Tristan… and I’m not entirely sure he trusts Rory. Because Dean is super suspicious

Moxie: Oh god let her have her thing.

Butterscotch: She clearly doesn’t want you there Pushy McPushypants

Moxie: If we say he’s fine enough times it’ll be true.

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Butterscotch: “I’m intrigued” he says, as he turns toward his locker. Oh, Rory. That was dumb. So dumb. You’re supposed to be the smart one.

Moxie: Stop walking into this.

Butterscotch: Ouch. She tells the guy who likes to torpedo things

Moxie: Oh yeah that’s going to make him want to help. Don’t try to fix him.

Butterscotch: Tristan is the soulful, misunderstood rich boy

Moxie: They do that better with the next soulful rich boy

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Butterscotch: He brought his parents…

Moxie: South Park shirt

Butterscotch: …this is not good… Luke is now a tourist attraction

Moxie: There is going to be shouting soon.

Butterscotch: Spit in his coffee Luke. Can’t wait to see Paul with Mrs. Kim

Moxie: She will chew him up and spit him out.

Butterscotch: I’d love to watch that. Oh, Luke. I love you. Even Mr. Bitterscotch tittered at that one.

Moxie: He is the best. Oh he remembers. Did somebody frisk Paris for the sword?

Butterscotch: that poor kid that we will never see again

Moxie: Oh we do, though!

Butterscotch: Saw that coming. Punch Tristan, Rory. that is the correct response

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Moxie: Somebody’s going to be dead. This is homework, Dean.

Butterscotch: It is homework, Dean. But I still want Rory to punch Dean. I have a violent streak

Moxie: I want her to punch Tristan.

Butterscotch: I wish he had taken the sparkle vest accidentally. That would’ve capped the evening

Moxie: I want Paris to be Romeo. Come do your fatherly duty and watch the lousy play, Luke!

Butterscotch: I don’t. Paris/Rory is not something I want to see

Moxie: I saw a good argument for it. But after the end of the series

Butterscotch: I think their relationship is not at a stage where I can, in any universe, justify slash right now. Way to slut shame, Luke. Good job. You lose ten points

Moxie: No banter, he’s honestly upset. Oh my god.

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Butterscotch: DUDE. Neanderthal R&J is awesome

Moxie: I want that production. Paris power walks.

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Butterscotch: Business men stabbing each other with their cards. Tristan is full of the dumb

Moxie: Overflowing with the dumb.

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Butterscotch: Tristan in military school. Awesome. But at least we’ll be rid of Tristan and his full of dumb

Moxie: Professor Furious went to school with those boys.

Butterscotch: The thing that makes me sad is that this is the most character dev we’ve seen out of him to date. the ones full of dumb? Paris is Romeo. Awesome

Moxie: The rich boy jerks.

Butterscotch: You get your slash wish

Moxie: I had honestly forgotten.

Butterscotch: And, frankly, she’s better than Tristan

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Moxie: Right into the boobs

Butterscotch: Except there was no kiss, only tits

Moxie: Hmm an English event at Chilton. Who might be here?

Butterscotch: Oh lordy, you have a point.

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Moxie: Listen to Sookie!

Butterscotch: So it IS a Max episode, or no

Moxie: When will Lorelai learn her lesson and just listen to Sookie.

Butterscotch: Can Lorelai and Sookie date?

Moxie: Damn my memory is faulty. Why WASN’T Max there. Sookie is meant for Jackson and Jackson alone.

Butterscotch: Because Max teaches the Freshmen?

Moxie: Maybe.

Butterscotch: propose!

Now!

or kiss!

something

Moxie: Kiss!

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Butterscotch: GAAH!

Everyone dies but the outfits were cute…

Moxie: Says the woman who made the outfits

Postmortem:

Butterscotch: point. So we finally got some Tristan character development. He has an inner spongy center, and YANK! Out of show for you, my friend

Moxie: And is now gone forever.

Butterscotch: ne’er to be seen again indeed

Moxie: But we get another prank pulling, adorable, blond, rich boy in college. Honestly it may as well be getting Tristan back.

Butterscotch: Ugh. But I’ve seen the pictures of Logan

Moxie: but then he develops!

Butterscotch: and he’s at least cute. Tristan is mostly just…squinty. He always looks like he’s three quarters baked

Moxie: The hair is too tousled

Butterscotch: that’s not tousled

Moxie: Like it’s not for show bedhead, it’s actual bedhead.

Butterscotch: that’s like the non-permed version of Timberlake ramen hair

Moxie: It does look a little fried…

Butterscotch: which, given the era…

Moxie: Damn Jess is the only one with good hair until Logan.

Butterscotch: Remember, this was when the Tigi “Bed Head” products were all the rage

Moxie: Oh yes

Butterscotch: I saw that Dean has lapsed back into the non-washy hair phase

Moxie: As his jealousy grows, his shampoo wanes.

Butterscotch: eeeeew

Moxie: He has to be able to better rub his scent on Rory to mark his territory

Butterscotch: A note to Dean: The grunge look only works if you actively listen to Nirvana and wear a plaid shirt tied ’round your waist

Moxie: Ah those were the days….

Butterscotch: okay, you’re actively making gorge rise. gross

Moxie: Okay I’ll stop.

Butterscotch: danke

I think I’m going to be sore about the R&J thing for the rest of the night, because I kind of hate that play, for all I love the Shakes

Moxie: Hee which part of it? It’s like a good song that gets too much airtime onthe radio.

Butterscotch: no. I just wish they’d chosen a different play, you k now? Freshman english teacher ruined it for me. It and To Kill a Mockingbird

Moxie: They needed something everyone would know with a well known kiss.

Butterscotch: Much Ado has a sexy kiss. 12th night has a sexy kiss. Midsummer has people high on drugs orgying in the mud in the damn woods <–is snob

Moxie: But I don’t think any of them are as pop culture-y as R&J

Butterscotch: R&J is only pop culturey because no one can be bothered to expand their knowledge beyond it. Also, I am ranty McRanterton

Moxie: It’s okay. You love Shakespeare enough for the both of us. Which is good.

Butterscotch: I do, but mostly just the histories and the comedies

Moxie: Because frankly, just once, I’d love to hear about somebody else.

Butterscotch: not so much the tragedies. Yes!

Moxie: Anyyyyway. So jealous!Dean has reared his ugly unwashed head.

Butterscotch: yes. I think unwashed hair is the mark of the decline of a relationship

Moxie: We have solid groundwork for him not trusting Rory, and Jess, the bad boy with a heart of gold and a reading level to match Rory’s, is in town.

Butterscotch: clearly, because Rory is 17 and fickle of heart and because it’s high school and every girl should date around a bit

Moxie: Which at 17, I think is totally fine.

Butterscotch: also, I guess Lane is dating Henry officially now?

Moxie: Ish? I guess.

Butterscotch: with Rory as an intermediary?

Moxie: Ghost dating?

Butterscotch: She is the dating middleman

Moxie: So, you know, this will end well.

Butterscotch: naturally

Moxie: I’m just happy to see Lane.

Butterscotch: me too. But I want Lane to have more screentime

and Dean to have a bit less

And Luke to have more

Moxie: The Luke and Lane show!

Butterscotch: that’d be…awkward

Moxie: I guess.

Butterscotch: ok, that was a fun episode

Moxie: I got Paris time, which always makes me happy.

Butterscotch: you and Paris. something something Paris in the spring?

Moxie: Dictator of my heart!

Butterscotch: Dictator of the stage

Moxie: I know the ice cream machine was this episode, but it doesn’t feel like it.

Sorry, my brain went Il Duce and then Il Dolce…

Butterscotch: Il Duce, the cold one

Moxie: This was a long episode! It spanned quite a chunk of time.

Butterscotch: true, it did

Moxie: I hope Sookie took it home.

Butterscotch: so she and Jackson could make sweet sweet…ice cream

Moxie: So many tasty foods must come out of that house.

Butterscotch: Best part of that episode? My husband being forced to watch it with me

Moxie: Hehehehe

Butterscotch: and hearing him laugh at it. genuine laughter, instead of scoff.

Moxie: It’s an honestly funny show!

Butterscotch: that was amusing

it is!

he will, of course, deny this tomorrow

and blame it on the back pain making him punchy or something

Moxie: uhhuh. Sure.

Butterscotch: indeedly.

So here something interesting: there was no followup from Dean on the kiss thing that Tristan mentioned. He totally brushed it off. So suspicious Dean is jealous, but not too bright

Moxie: That was weird. [We were too busy cackling to notice Tirstan followed it up with saying it reminded him of Juliet and Romeo’s kiss. Hence the Dean not killing him. Tristan is just as jackassy as we think, but slightly more clever than we give him credit for. -M]

Butterscotch: (not that he has the right to recrimination)

Moxie: He probably imagines that Tristan forced himself on Rory.

Butterscotch: well, Tristan did mention the tears

Moxie: Although, if that’s the case I’m not sure why we weren’t looking at straight up attempted murder.

Butterscotch: Yes. A bit of a plot hole, that, unless he doesn’t believe they kissed

Moxie: Also possible.

Butterscotch: and just thinks that this is about Tristan and him, not Tristan and Rory. It seems very Deanlike to internalize this and make it his story

Moxie: That’s true. I bet in his mind this is the Dean Show

Butterscotch: Well, not in Padelecki’s mind. But in Dean’s, yes

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